153. Active listening checklist

Empathetic listening or active listening involves listening not only to the content but also to how it is said. Nonverbal messages that a speaker is using can give you clues. The foundation of empathetic listening is a sincere interest in a person speaking.

The checklist of what not to do during active listening:

Do not interrupt others’ speech

Do not anticipate what will be said

Do not finish a speaker's sentences

Do not judge, observe what is being said and how it is being said

I recommend the following instructions if you want to master empathetic listening:

Create eye contact with a speaker and look at them with empathy and a smile. People relax when you smile at them

Observe the way a person speaks. Namely intonation, tone of voice, speech speed, loudness, etc. You can learn more about it in the book Get Rid of your Accent Part Two, Advanced Level, and the apps Fluent English Speech and 4Ps, Power, Pitch, Pace, Pause

Listen to the feelings and emotions behind words and voice, and respond to them appropriately

Imagine that you are a psychotherapist who is talking to a patient and that you are paid for listening

Allow a pause after what was said, and connect with what was said

Motivate yourself for active listening by knowing that a person who is listening is in a more powerful position than the one who speaks

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