238. Freedom or Fear

Fear is an emotion deeply connected to our survival instinct. It keeps us alive in the face of danger—it is natural to feel scared when confronted with a bear in the woods, when swimming against massive ocean waves, or when a hurricane is approaching. In these moments, fear sharpens our senses and prepares us to act.

But fear is not only a survival tool. It is also one of the most powerful tools of control.

Politicians use fear to control voters’ decisions and behaviour, painting pictures of threats and dangers that they claim only they can prevent.

Advertisers use fear in campaigns to control buying decisions—“without this product, you will not be safe, attractive, or successful.”

Parents sometimes use fear to control their children’s behaviour—threatening punishment, rejection, or shame.

Sadly, fear shows up in our closest relationships. My most recent example: just yesterday, a woman who claimed to be my friend told me that if I did not stop questioning her opinion, I would lose her as a friend. Her message wasn’t about dialogue—it was about control. It was an attempt to use fear of loss to silence me. I immediately blocked her because I cannot stand when others attempt to dominate me.

The problem for most people is that they trust others more than themselves. Whilst the best defence against manipulation is self-trust.

How can we develop self-trust? Here is the answer:

• Questioning: Who is the beneficiary? What’s in it for me?

• Reflecting:

• Standing firm in our values

So what can we do when fear is used against us? Here are some practices:

1. Notice the Threat Behind the Words

2. Pause Before Reacting

3. Separate real risk from imagined risk

Red Flags

A healthy choice comes from clarity, not coercion. If you feel cornered, silenced, shamed or “guilted” into action, it is most likely a manipulation by fear.

Fear should protect our lives, not control our choices. When we learn to recognise the difference, we reclaim our freedom.

237. Hips Don't Lie

The phrase “hips don’t lie” ultimately points us back to authenticity.

People can force a smile.

They can rehearse their lines.

But their bodies will always reveal the truth.

Why? Because the body is directly linked to the subconscious mind. While the conscious mind carefully edits speech and expression, the subconscious leaks out through posture, breath, gestures, and movement.

The hips, the shoulders, the eyes—they all carry traces of emotions we may not even be aware of. Stress, fear, attraction, joy, insecurity—these states live in the body long before they reach the tongue.

That is why the body is our most honest storyteller. It whispers the truths the conscious mind tries to hide, revealing what is really happening beneath the surface.

That’s why, when we try to understand people’s true attitudes, we should listen not only to their words but to their bodies.

A body speaks softly but honestly. The way someone sits, the way they breathe, the way they look at you or linger—all of these gestures are quiet confessions of the soul.

Ask yourself gently: What does their body tell me? And just as important - what does my own body say in response?

Sometimes, before our mind has time to form a thought, our body already knows. We feel comfort or unease, warmth or distance. This is not a coincidence—it is our subconscious, the deep language of connection that exists beneath words.

When we learn to notice this silent dialogue—between their body and ours—we enter into a more authentic way of relating. We begin to see that truth is not only spoken; it is carried in the rhythm of movement, in the breath between words, in the subtle dance of presence.

The body never lies—it simply speaks the truths the heart already knows.